godtoldmetokilltheenglish

a pink slip for the whole family.

    MOM: Are you hungry?
    JAY: Not really.
    MOM: You're not hungry?
    JAY: Not really.
    MOM: How can you not want to eat?
    JAY: MY GOD.

Every time I come over, my mom lays out a fresh towel, a fresh washcloth, and a still boxed bar of soap.

Never mind the fact that I have not used a washcloth since- well, since I learned to wash myself. I bring this up almost every time.

Never mind the fact that there are already towels on the towel rack to fill the towel rack (it holds two towels). Never mind the fact that those towels are probably unused since the last time I was here.

My mother must have clean towels for her son!

Yes, I love my crazy mother. Yes, my family only gets odder the more stressed they are.

To quote my totem animal: I AM DEFINITELY FLIRTING WITH FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.

n j l