August 2005
9 posts
no farting in the ice fort.
Two things that do not go together: spiders and showers. See, with showers comes me being naked. Spiders and me being naked do not go together, either. So, when I see a spider in the shower, it’s this weird two for one uncomfortability (that’s a word) deal.
I do have a vague notion that going through one’s morning cataloging all the signs that I should go back to bed is...
take out the trash day.
SF All Stars at Blue Cube 2005.08.26
Instant fun: 1) Get wasted. 2) Go to Ikea. 3) Make a spectacle of yourself.
Mental image: this writer rolling around on every bed / sofa / unidentifiable cushy thing I could find and yelling “I WANT THIS ONE” while Angie hit me with some stuffed dragon she found in the kid’s section.
Giving poor Roommate Tess shit is fun:
Tess:...
case in point.
I’ve been leaving my orange juice cup at work, unwashed. Overnight.
So every day I arrive and get really pissed because I have to wash the thing out.
Have you ever tried getting dried orange pulp shit out of a coffee cup?
I then fill it with orange juice again.
It’s like I’m leaving myself a note that says, “You’re not any less of an asshole today than you...
never as tired as when i'm waking up.
Look, Mairin’s birthday was on Saturday and this writer cooked a huge meal!
Mairin’s Birthday Dinner
Erin and Mike must, must, work on the whole driver / passenger thing. I swear, Erin really does know that being a passenger means “read the mapquest directions”. But, on this particular day, when they were driving to my new place, being a passenger for some reason meant...
old nude.
Problem: I pour myself into emails. Then I don’t write anything for this. Solution: Stop interacting with people I find interesting.
Snack food attempt: Sunflower seeds. They are salty. My lips are now overly sensitive in a way I can not describe.
Actually, if there’s one thing that has continually eluded me these past few weeks, it’s been satisfying snacking. This is not...
rabbit facts.
So when you walk up to the urinal in the bathroom at work and unbotton your jeans, what do you expect to happen? It sure as shit is not this: you don’t expect to hear a watery “plop”. You sure as FUCK don’t expect to look down and see the button of your fucking jeans IN THE FUCKING URINAL.
On the list of things that I absolutely must have complete faith in throughout my...
i seriously need to reexamine my existence.
Thanks, Lydia. Thanks so much.
Holy sparrow shit, is that my O face? Wow. There are no words. Shameful.
if i ever feel better.
Some part of my nervous system now starts to wig out if there isn’t decent snack food within flailing distance at all times when I’m coding. I have no idea when this started. I’m not even hungry. I just need to know that it’s there. When it’s not, I kinda involuntarily spaz out for point one five seconds. One of my eyes gets way too large and one of my shoulders moves...
hooray for hoses.
FnF Campout 2005
Complete with amusing comments! Guaranteed to entertain!
Oh, fuck way off.
jay
perfectly his
blank stare.