September 2003
14 posts
Brain Wrong.
SBC customer service closes at 6 PM. I call them at 5 PM. After being on hold for 20 minutes, a recorded voice comes on the line and essentially says “We are closed.” YAAAAGH.
PICK IT UP!
Thanks to the dirty board.
The Discerning Shitter.
And on a completely different note…
The bathroom stalls at the on-campus library are quite luxurious. Let me tell you:
Thank Jeebus for one thing, and this is something you should always be able to take for granted: coat hangers in the stall. And the babies in the library are Industrial. Savvy?
There’s this odd little Flip Down Table Thing within reach of the toilet as well. I...
Send Morrison and his butt plugs!
Keep at least 30 miles between yourself and Castle Ellis, unknowing passerby. The man’s naked, alone, and in search of puppy blood, most likely.
For three days…
Child becomes the parent.
Alissa: “And I just like going to the gay club because I don’t have to be afraid of the guys hitting on me and bumping their boners at me.”
Dad: “Now there’s an idea. Where I can I go where women won’t hit on me?”
Jay: “Outside?”
Day off? Nothing to do?
Then treat yourself.
(This is for you, Ed).
jay
shines lamp of inappropriateness
on self.
Tell me this is the migraine talking.
Writer Shelley Jackson invites participants in a new work entitled “Skin.” Each participant must agree to have one word of the story tattooed upon his or her body. The text will be published nowhere else, and the author will not permit it to be summarized, quoted, described, set to music, or adapted for film, theater, television or any other medium. The full text will be known only to...
Scottish butt plug.
“Yes, like the real-life Princess Diana, Wonder Woman is the perfect character to appear as at a gay Halloween party and I’m genuinely amazed that Linda Carter was only twenty one when she first donned the tights, but as a live action feature this sucked Iraqi penis.”
Mark Millar and his “unfortunate affliction of being Scottish”.
And I have it pencilled in my calendar too.
It’s some sort of weird annual occurrence that I completely flip the fuck out and mope around for two weeks and throw dart fins at whoever questions me.
This began two days ago and could last up to a month.
Be strong, young one, and weather the storm. This will pass.
jay
really not as drunk
as a jay should be
and wondering where that last line came from
and cannot drink
cause drink is...
Oh do not forsake me.
An entry that was to bitch about my inability to fuck around online has quickly turned into a sob story: I was too late for See Puny Humans. ‘Mo.
Interesting enough idea in and of itself: take any set of loyal visitors to a site- your normal fellow denizens. A nice opportunity for them no longer to be anonymous.
Though I am a big fan of my own personal territorial anonymity bubble.
...
Endless itchy scab!
The choice between half and half and low-fat milk.
This is something that, in my coffee drinking career (which is long, sordid, and celebrated), I’ve always ignored. If I’m in a shop, and there’s half and half available, I will partake. Creesus, I’m paying for the privilege, why the nuts not? But I wasn’t going to enjoy the smell of my own shit so much that I just...
Keep watching...
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger— mushroom, MUSHROOM!
Man essence in danger!
I’ve put Alissa’s Killer Princesses drawing up for display at the YABS forum.
Go here.